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Tips for Parents of College Students

When your child heads off to college, you are probably awash in all kinds of emotions. Pride, relief (yes, they got into school!), sadness, anxiety, and excitement can all swirl around you. Your baby is growing up and forging their own independent life. Will they make new friends? Like their classes and excel in them? Find their way around campus easily enough? Will they overspend, sleep through class, and stay out all Friday night?

Part of having a college student as a child means you must get used to some separation and lack of information. But that doesn’t mean you can’t continue to play a vital role in their life. Here, some wise advice about conversations to have, topics to cover, and when to help them have an amazing time at school.

Advice for Parents of College Students

Although each parent-child relationship is unique and each parent may face different challenges with their college student, there are moments that can be universal when your “baby” heads off to university life.

You’ll need to know how much to let go and encourage your child to become independent versus how much you should continue to provide support, whether that’s emotional support or financial.

Where that line should be drawn for each child and parent depends upon things like the seriousness of the problems being faced and how temporary or permanent they may be. In general, though, tips include:

•   Listen, but try not to dive right into problem solving. This may not be the moment to lead with, “Here’s what you need to do…”

•   Be mindful about how often you communicate and give your college student space while also staying available. Texting constantly and expecting quick replies will be unrealistic for many parents.

•   You may be used to getting those report cards regularly and monitoring your child’s checkups at the doctor’s office. Recognize that now, times are changing, and you may not always be kept in the loop. FERPA (or the Federal Education Records Privacy Act) gives college students new privacy rights that can be defined pretty broadly. You may want to talk to your child about signing a FERPA waiver that will give you more access to information.

Accepting that college isn’t just about education but also about your child establishing themselves as an independent adult is an important transition for both of you.


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Parenting College Students During Summer Break

Just when you figure out how to parent your child when he or she is away from school, summer break arrives with a different set of challenges. The young adult that you watched leave for college is probably not the same person who is returning. Maybe they don’t want to chat as much as before, or don’t seem as open to talk about daily life, friendships, and relationships.

The parent-child dynamic may be less about directing your kid’s actions and more about creating a collaborative partnership.

This can include things like withholding judgment about your child’s actions and making requests rather than demands — even when you’re sure you’re right. Your child is growing up and stretching their wings, both at school and when they return. They are becoming a full-fledged adult, after all.

Analyze which rules are the most important, and focus on those, letting other ones go. One example is you might ask that he or she call you if dinner will be missed, but not try to impose a curfew.

Recognize that during summer break you’ll probably need to readjust to being together, while also focusing on enjoying your time together.

Conversations about Paying for College

As part of your evolving parent-child relationship, you’ll likely find yourself in conversations about the best ways to pay for college. As the parent, you’ll likely initiate these talks. As part of your discussions, you may want to:

•   Be clear about how much money you’re willing or able to contribute towards your child’s college expenses and how much your child will need to contribute.

•   Discuss how much college will cost once you add tuition, housing, books, and other expenses together.

•   Talk about student loans, including the differences between federal student loans and private student loans.

•   Discuss how your child working during college may help pay for expenses.

•   Talk about money management and how your child may feel some stress over student loan debt.

Here are some valuable topics to mention.

•   There are scholarships and grants that usually don’t need to be repaid. What’s left is the amount that typically needs to be paid for by a combination of parental contributions, student contributions, and student loans.

•   The two main types of student loans are federal and private. To qualify for federal student loans, you’ll need to fill out the FAFSA® (or Free Application for Federal Student Aid). This form needs to be filled out every year to determine eligibility for federal student aid dollars, including federal student loans.

•   Federal loans can be subsidized or unsubsidized. Students may be eligible for a subsidized loan if they have a certain degree of financial need. Subsidized loans do not accrue interest during the six-month grace period after graduation/dropping below half-time enrollment and during any loan deferments.

•   If the student drops below half-time enrollment, the grace period will begin even if he or she has not graduated yet, although there are some circumstances in which the student loan grace period can change.

Unsubsidized federal student loans do not require a demonstration of financial need, but do accrue interest during the entire loan period.

Private student loans are not funded by the government. Your child can apply with individual lenders, and each loan will come with its own terms and conditions, including repayment terms. Private loans can help fill the gap between what your child can pay with scholarships, grants, or federal loans.
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💡 Quick Tip: Would-be borrowers will want to understand the different types of student loans that are available: private student loans, federal Direct Subsidized and Unsubsidized loans, Direct PLUS loans, and more.

Saving for Your Child’s College

If you’re still saving for your child’s education, your options may include:

•   What are known as 529 college savings plans, also called qualified tuition plans, allow you to save for college while potentially offering tax benefits. Money saved in an education savings plan (sponsored by some states) can be used for tuition, fees, room and board, and other qualified higher education expenses at a college or university.

•   Prepaid tuition plans (available at some universities) offer the option to prepay tuition and fees at current rates.

•   Traditional or Roth IRAs, although more commonly used to save and invest for retirement, can be used to save for college expenses. .

•   Coverdell Education Savings Accounts allow you to set up an account to pay for qualified education expenses, but contributions are not tax deductible and are only available for people whose income falls under certain limits.

•   Uniform Gifts to Minors Act (UGMA) or Uniform Transfers to Minors Act (UTMA) accounts are intended as a savings vehicle for beneficiaries under the age of 18. Depending upon your state, the funds will transfer to your child at either age 18 or 21 and do not have to be used for education expenses.

Tax Credits and College

When it’s tax time, if you claim your college-age child as a dependent, you might qualify tax credits related to education.

•   The American Opportunity Tax Credit could be helpful during the first four years of their undergraduate education. Qualifications include MAGI, or modified adjusted gross income, among other factors.

This is a credit for tuition and other qualified education expenses worth up to $2,500 per eligible student and could reduce the filer’s tax bill, not their taxable income.

•   The Lifetime Learning Credit is also a tax credit, but may be harder to qualify for. Each year, you can claim either the AOTC or the LLC, but not both.

Parent Student Loans

You may be able to take out loans for your child’s education expenses, including a federal Parent PLUS Loans, available to parents of dependent undergraduate students for the amount of attendance costs minus other financial aid.

Private lenders may also be an option. Fees, rates, and repayment options vary by lender and they don’t typically offer forbearance or deferment options like federal loans do. As another option, you may be able to co-sign a private student loan with your child.

SoFi Parent Loans

Paying your child’s tuition with SoFi’s flexible, competitive-rate parent loan may be an option for consideration as well.

If you’ve exhausted all federal student aid options, no-fee private student loans from SoFi can help you pay for school. The online application process is easy, and you can see rates and terms in just minutes. Repayment plans are flexible, so you can find an option that works for your financial plan and budget.


Cover up to 100% of school-certified costs including tuition, books, supplies, room and board, and transportation with a private student loan from SoFi.


About the author

Julia Califano

Julia Califano

Julia Califano is an award-winning journalist who covers banking, small business, personal loans, student loans, and other money issues for SoFi. She has over 20 years of experience writing about personal finance and lifestyle topics. Read full bio.




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Financial Tips & Strategies: The tips provided on this website are of a general nature and do not take into account your specific objectives, financial situation, and needs. You should always consider their appropriateness given your own circumstances.

Non affiliation: SoFi isn’t affiliated with any of the companies highlighted in this article.

Tax Information: This article provides general background information only and is not intended to serve as legal or tax advice or as a substitute for legal counsel. You should consult your own attorney and/or tax advisor if you have a question requiring legal or tax advice.

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Money and Marriage: Making Important Money Decisions in Marriage

Financial decisions are difficult enough on your own. But they can get even harder when you bring a significant other into the mix. After all, you both are coming from different life experiences and may have very different (often deep-seated) views on money, including how it should be spent and whether it should be saved.

Not surprisingly, money is a common cause of stress in relationships and, if left unaddressed, it can start impacting more things than just your bank account. Research consistently shows that financial problems and disagreements over money is a leading cause of divorce.

Considering how personal, and therefore complicated, each partner’s relationship with money can be, navigating money conversations can be tricky.

A great first step is to understand that financial decision-making as a couple may not come naturally, and that’s completely fine. These conversations take practice. What follows are a few strategies to try and some ideas to keep in mind when making financial decisions with your partner.

Key Points

•   Financial decisions can be more challenging when involving a partner due to differing backgrounds and views on money.

•   Common causes of financial disputes among couples include budgeting, spending, and handling past debts.

•   Effective strategies for couples include scheduling money discussions, writing down feelings about money, and actively listening to each other.

•   Compromise and joint decision-making can strengthen the relationship and improve financial outcomes.

•   Implementing a financial plan with clear actions can help couples achieve their shared financial goals.

Common Causes of Couple Money Fights

Whether you and your partner are struggling to make a particular money decision or generally don’t see eye to eye on money, know that money fights are normal and common. Here’s a look at some of the most common hot button issues for couples.

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Sharing Account Information

Some couples struggle with privacy limits and may disagree about what level of access their partner should have to their financial accounts. If one partner feels they don’t have fair access to financial accounts, passwords, and paperwork, resentment can build.

Married couples in particular may find it confusing and challenging to not have a full picture of their complete financial health.

Determining Budgeting and Spending Limits

Maybe one of you likes to spend and enjoy life, while the other prefers to save for a rainy day. This disconnect happens all the time. Not all couples agree on how much they should be spending versus putting aside for the future and this can lead to anger and tension.

Dealing With Past Debt

If one partner brings a sizable amount of debt into the relationship, couples may disagree about who is responsible for paying off the debt.

You might take some solace in knowing that debts brought into a marriage stay with the person who incurred them and are not extended to a spouse. It won’t hurt the other partner’s credit rating (which is linked to their Social Security number and tracked individually). In most states, however, debts incurred after marriage jointly are owed by both spouses.

Saving and Investing

Many couples can’t agree on how much money they should save each month, as well as how they should be saving it. One partner may feel investing is the best path to a stronger financial future, while the other might be more risk averse, preferring to stash extra funds in a high-yield savings account.

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7 Tips for Making Financial Decisions as a Couple

Just having a conversation about money with your significant other can be fraught. Coming to an agreement on how to manage your money is often even harder. Fortunately, these eight strategies can help you find common ground.

1. Make a Date to Talk

Your instincts might tell you to dive headfirst into a big money talk in order to get it the heck out of the way. But this may not be your best strategy. No one is their best self when they feel caught off guard. A conversation about a tough financial decision will likely be more productive when there are two calm, prepared people at the table.

Instead of bringing up the topic of money out of the blue, you might give your partner some notice. You can simply set a time to talk about the financial decision at hand. Or, you might want to turn it into a real “date” and treat yourself to a coffee at the local shop or pick up your favorite take-out dinner. Either way, the most important thing is that you have a designated time for the talk. This strategy can be applied to discussing one particular financial decision, or you can utilize it on a regular basis.

Recommended: How to Make Talking About Finances Fun, Not a Fight

2. Write It Out

Sometimes, it’s simply hard to communicate how you feel. This is especially true for topics that affect us deeply and in confusing ways, like money. If you and your partner are people that like to put their feelings down in writing, consider writing each other a letter prior to your financial “date.”

In your letter, you might include some background on how you were raised to think about money, your money stressors, and your financial goals. Focus the letter on yourself and from where your financial beliefs stem.

Not only will this help your partner understand where you are coming from, but it can also provide you with some very useful introspection about money and your system of values.

3. Be Prepared to Listen

When making financial decisions, your main objective should not be to explain your point of view. To have a truly productive conversation, you must be committed to listening, too. This is good practice in all conversations with your partner and loved ones, but especially when talking about financial decisions.

Here’s the thing about making financial decisions: It’s rarely black and white and, generally, there is no right and no wrong. Being open to listening often translates into being open to learning.

Not only is your partner’s perspective important, but you might even be able to learn something from them. We’re all learning as we go anyway, and by listening, you have a chance to learn and evolve as a couple.

Recommended: How to Budget As a Couple and Why It’s Important

4. Be Communicative

One key to having a productive and healthy conversation regarding money or a specific financial decision with your partner is to communicate your feelings, thoughts, and fears. Something that seems obvious to you may not be obvious to them, so give your partner the benefit of explaining yourself in a calm and thorough way.

When you communicate, try to stick with talking about how you feel regarding a matter and avoid making declarations about what your partner has done in the past or what you’re hoping that they will do in the future.

Making comments about how a person is spending can quickly turn accusatory, putting them on the defensive. Even when having tough conversations, do your best to remove judgment from the equation.

Also, it’s best not to assume that just because you have explained something to your partner once, that they understand what you mean and where you are coming from. Don’t lose your cool if you have to remind your partner what’s important or a priority to you, especially if your priorities don’t align on this particular issue.

Recommended: Guide to Improving Your Money Mindset

5. Crunch the Numbers

Sometimes, the numbers help guide financial decision-making within a relationship. It can be worth taking the time to figure out exactly how each financial decision would play out over the short and long term.

By breaking big costs down into monthly numbers, you and your partner can see on paper what is possible (and what isn’t). The exercise may provide a new perspective altogether or, at the very least, get you on the same page regarding the different options with your money.

If you feel at a loss for what you should be focusing on or how to accomplish your goals, you may want to hire a financial expert, such as a credentialed financial planner. Some financial guidance from a person skilled in financial planning could be just what a couple needs to step up their money game.

6. Compromise

If you’re in a partnership, you already know that compromise is key. The good news is that with money, compromising is not only possible but often ideal. For example, you don’t have to pick just one savings goal to work on at a time. Financial decisions don’t have to be one or the other. Indeed, a multi-pronged approach is often the best way to build financial security.

Also, know that there is no perfect formula for how a couple makes financial decisions. Just because your best friend and her spouse divide their finances in a certain way or prioritize certain money goals over others doesn’t mean that you have to do it this way. Part of compromise with your partner is abandoning the idea that your partnership should work like anyone else’s.

7. Put Plans Into Action

Once you’ve hashed out your money goals and fears with your honey, and made some key financial decisions together, it’s a good idea to come up with an actionable plan to make your shared goals a reality.

If you’ve decided that you want to purchase a home in two years, for example, figure out how much of a downpayment you’ll need and, then, how much money you need to siphon into savings each month to reach your goal. You might then set up an automatic transfer from your checking account(s) and into your joint savings account each month.

A fringe benefit of making financial decisions as a couple is that you have a built-in accountability buddy to make sure you follow through on your plan and don’t spend that savings on something else.

Smart Money Decisions Couples Make

Here’s a look at some smart money moves you may want to make as a couple:

•   Opening joint accounts: Having at least one joint bank account can simplify your finances and make it easier to work towards your shared goals. That said, you don’t have to merge everything. You might decide to keep individual accounts for personal use — this gives each partner some freedom to spend on themselves without having to explain their expenditures.

•   Labeling your savings: Having separate savings accounts for separate goals (even giving them labels, like a “downpayment” or “vacation” account) can help you stay on track and reach your goals sooner. Some savings accounts have a sub-savings account feature, which allows you to split funds in one primary savings account into separate categories.

•   Automate your savings: It can be smart to set up recurring automated transfers from your checking account(s) to your savings and investment accounts based on your goals.

•   Increasing your emergency reserve: Your emergency fund should be large enough to cover living expenses — for both of you and any dependents — for anywhere from a few months to a year, depending on your situation.

Recommended: Survey Says: Couples That Pool Finances Are Happier

The Takeaway

Talking about money with your partner isn’t always easy, but having honest discussions about your financial situation and goals is critical. This can help you better understand each other, make important financial decisions as a couple, and come up with a plan that can make your shared goals and dreams a reality.

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FAQ

Should married couples make financial decisions together?

Even if you don’t merge all of your money, it can be a good idea to work together on some key financial decisions that will impact both of your futures. Making financial decisions together can have multiple benefits, including increased closeness and trust, less conflict over money, and better financial outcomes.

How should money be split in a relationship?

There are several methods couples can use to manage money and cover their living expenses. One option is to merge all or some of your funds in a joint bank account and use it to pay for shared expenses. Another option is to keep separate accounts, but have each partner make equal payments towards shared expenses.

A third approach you might consider is to split bills proportionally based on each partner’s income. So if one partner makes 70% of the total household income, they would then cover 70% of shared expenses, while the other partner would pay for 30%.

What are financial red flags in a relationship?

Financial red flags are money issues that are either currently causing problems in a relationship or have the potential to do so in the future. While they are not necessarily deal-breakers, they are harbingers of future relationship and financial strain. If you notice any of the following six signs, it’s important to deal with them promptly, ideally before your life is too intertwined with your partner’s.

•   Unwillingness to discuss money

•   Excessive credit card or other debt

•   Flaunting their wealth

•   Severe frugality

•   Using money to manipulate or shame

•   Keeping secrets or telling lies about money


About the author

Julia Califano

Julia Califano

Julia Califano is an award-winning journalist who covers banking, small business, personal loans, student loans, and other money issues for SoFi. She has over 20 years of experience writing about personal finance and lifestyle topics. Read full bio.


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Financial Tips & Strategies: The tips provided on this website are of a general nature and do not take into account your specific objectives, financial situation, and needs. You should always consider their appropriateness given your own circumstances.

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What Is Moonlighting in Residency?

Residency is an exciting opportunity to get in-depth training within your chosen medical specialty. But these years also come with challenges. Residents are typically required to work long hours while earning just a fraction of what licensed physician’s make. At the same time, you likely have living expenses to cover, plus a mountain of education debt to pay back. This leads many residents to consider medical moonlighting as a way to bring in extra income.

Moonlighting simply means working a second job in addition to a primary job. For residents, it can be a chance to not only earn extra money, but also gain experience in new settings and broaden your career horizons. But there are also some significant downsides to consider. Here’s what residents need to know about medical moonlighting.

How Does Medical Moonlighting Work?

Medical moonlighting essentially means working a second job as an independent physician while still being in residency. Residents often take on moonlighting jobs to supplement their salaries, pay down student loan debt, and to get additional experience and practice beyond their responsibilities in their residency program.

Many medical moonlighting jobs fall under the category of what’s called “locum tenens” jobs, where you substitute for other medical professionals that are out on leave or help provide additional coverage at hospitals that are temporarily short-staffed. Often, you are able to pick and choose shifts that work with your schedule.

While moonlighting might seem like the perfect solution to financial stress, the policies and restrictions on resident moonlighting can be tricky to navigate. While residents who are licensed physicians are legally allowed to take on jobs providing medical care, residency programs typically have their own policies on whether residents can take on extra work.

Some programs prohibit moonlighting entirely, while others might limit moonlighting to residents further along in the program. Many programs will require you to get prior permission from a supervisor before you start moonlighting and you may have to formally state your reasons and goals for moonlighting.

Some residency programs allow you to take moonlighting shifts at the hospital facility where you are currently working, but you may be restricted from taking work outside of your hospital network.

Also keep in mind that the Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) guidelines state that residents have an 80 hour weekly limit, on average, over each four-week period, with at least 10 hours of rest between duty hours. Plus, one of every seven days must be free of patient care duties and educational obligations.


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There Are Two Ways to Moonlight

There are two types of medical moonlighting that residents can pursue: internal and external.

Internal moonlighting involves working extra shifts at the hospital where you are primarily employed as a resident. External moonlighting, by contrast, means picking up extra shifts at a clinic, a practice, an urgent care center, or a different hospital than where you’re training.

External positions are usually locum tenens. Both residents and physicians can work locum tenens jobs, and residents often prefer these jobs to taking on an external part-time job with a single employer. For one reason, they provide flexibility and don’t require having an independent medical license (as opposed to a training license), your own malpractice insurance, or having privileges at a specific hospital.

Pros and Cons of Moonlighting in Residency

Medical moonlighting has benefits and drawbacks. Here’s a closer look at reasons for and against moonlighting in residency.

Advantages of Moonlighting During Residency

Earn Extra Income

Taking on a few moonlighting shifts per month can add up to substantial extra income — especially on a resident’s salary. As for how much money you can make moonlighting in residency, the answer will depend on the type of work you end up doing and the area you’re in. The average pay range is $100-$200 per hour, depending on the location and job duties.

Recommended: Guide to Medical Student Loan Refinancing

Gain Valuable Experience

You might be able to get experience that you don’t typically get in your residency program or you may get additional practice with certain skills or procedures. The extra hours in another area of the hospital — or in another hospital nearby — can give you insight into how other units operate.

The more experience you get, the more robust your resume will become. A great resume can lead to more job opportunities in the future.

Test Out Different Practice Settings

There are many types of workplaces physicians can choose to work in. Moonlighting offers the opportunity to test out some different settings, such as group practices, private practices, urgent care centers, and community clinics.

When your residency ends and it’s time to find a full-time job, having experience in more than one healthcare setting may help guide you toward (or away from) certain types of workplaces.

Expand Your Network

Moonlighting can provide the opportunity to work with more professionals in your field. If you choose external moonlighting, you may be able to develop relationships with physicians, residents, administrators, and other healthcare providers who you wouldn’t otherwise meet in your residency program. Expanding your network can expand your future career opportunities.

Disadvantages of Moonlighting During Residency

Less Free Time

As a resident, you’re likely already working long hours on a grueling schedule while also trying to hone your skills in your chosen specialty. On top of your current workload, even an extra shift here and there can mean you lose out on time with friends and family — or precious sleep.

More Stress

Taking on too much work can lead to mistakes and high stress levels. If you’re earning extra cash now but the quality of your work in your residency is compromised, moonlighting might not be worth it for you. As a resident, your first job is to learn, practice your skills, and build a foundation for your career. It can be a bit of a balancing act.

Medical Malpractice Coverage

With an internal moonlighting position, you’ll work under your training license and have liability coverage and protection under your residency program’s malpractice policy. But external moonlighting might require you to purchase a pricey professional liability insurance policy that you may or may not be able to afford.

Some locum tenens staffing agencies provide malpractice insurance but you’ll want to make sure the coverage is sufficient.

Could Raise Your Monthly Loan Payments

If you’re paying back your student loans on an income-driven repayment (IDR) plan, moonlighting can increase your monthly payments. Under an IDR plan, you pay a percentage of your income. The more income you earn, generally the higher your payments will be.


💡 Quick Tip: Refinancing could be a great choice for working graduates who have higher-interest graduate PLUS loans, Direct Unsubsidized Loans, and/or private loans.

How to Start Moonlighting in Residency

So, you’ve weighed the pros and cons, looked into your program and institution policies, and want to move forward with medical moonlighting. How do you find moonlighting opportunities?

If your hospital offers internal moonlighting shifts, that can be a good place to start your search. Internal moonlighting lets you work under your existing training license and malpractice insurance coverage.

If internal shifts are not available or you prefer to work external positions, you can find them through locum tenens staffing agencies. You can also find moonlighting opportunities through online job boards, such as:

•   Moonlighting.org

•   ZipRecruiter

•   Indeed

•   ResidentMoonlighting.com

Moonlighting jobs are available for physicians that work in a variety of medical specialties. It’s just a matter of finding ones available in your area. You might also consider using moonlighting as an opportunity to work in a more generalized specialty, like internal medicine, rather than looking for positions in their more specialized field.

The Takeaway

Moonlighting as a resident can help you earn extra money and start paying down medical school debt, while also gaining more practical experience. But before you start moonlighting in residency, you’ll want to make sure your medical school allows it. You’ll also need to monitor your working hours to ensure you’re following the ACGME 80-hour work week policy. Any internal or external moonlighting you do will be considered part of that 80-hour work week.

If you decide to move forward with medical moonlighting, you can start exploring your options and looking for a moonlighting gig that you think you’ll enjoy, that pays well, and that continues to give you more experience.

Looking to lower your monthly student loan payment? Refinancing may be one way to do it — by extending your loan term, getting a lower interest rate than what you currently have, or both. (Please note that refinancing federal loans makes them ineligible for federal forgiveness and protections. Also, lengthening your loan term may mean paying more in interest over the life of the loan.) SoFi student loan refinancing offers flexible terms that fit your budget.


With SoFi, refinancing is fast, easy, and all online. We offer competitive fixed and variable rates.


About the author

Julia Califano

Julia Califano

Julia Califano is an award-winning journalist who covers banking, small business, personal loans, student loans, and other money issues for SoFi. She has over 20 years of experience writing about personal finance and lifestyle topics. Read full bio.




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Learn more at SoFi.com/eligibility. SoFi Refinance Student Loans are originated by SoFi Bank, N.A. Member FDIC. NMLS #696891 (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org).

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Non affiliation: SoFi isn’t affiliated with any of the companies highlighted in this article.

Financial Tips & Strategies: The tips provided on this website are of a general nature and do not take into account your specific objectives, financial situation, and needs. You should always consider their appropriateness given your own circumstances.

Third-Party Brand Mentions: No brands, products, or companies mentioned are affiliated with SoFi, nor do they endorse or sponsor this article. Third-party trademarks referenced herein are property of their respective owners.

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A Guide to Making Friends in College

College is a great place to make lifelong friends. In college, students bond over shared interests, have fun times together, and help each other through some challenging times, cementing bonds that can last for years after graduation.

When you first arrive on campus, however, making friends in college can seem intimidating. Exactly where and how do you meet people? It can feel especially challenging if you go to a large school or you’re in unfamiliar territory, like a college that’s far away from home.

Don’t stress. Making friends in college can be easy, and you don’t necessarily need a lot of them or to make them the very first week. The key is to get involved early on, put yourself out there, and always try to be your true self. Here are some ways you can go about making friends in college.

Key Points

•   Make friends in college by hanging out with roommates, joining fraternities or sororities, and attending social gatherings.

•   Get involved in campus clubs and activities to meet like-minded individuals.

•   Being yourself is crucial for forming genuine and lasting friendships.

•   College friendships can become lifelong bonds through shared experiences and support.

•   Consider financial options like grants, scholarships, work-study, and federal loans to afford college.

Hang Out With Your Roommates

Whether you chose your roommate or went with a random pairing, you may or may not have a lot in common with this individual, at least from the outside. Nevertheless, it can be a good idea to try to forge a connection with your roommate. This will not only make your living situation more enjoyable, but you’ll be able to turn to your roommate when you need support.

You can bond with your roommate by cooking meals, watching favorite shows, and studying together. It can also help to be considerate and respectful of your roommate by not making too much noise late at night or early in the morning, cleaning up after yourself, and chipping in for shared supplies. By respecting your roommate’s boundaries and establishing ground rules for the room, you’ll be more likely to have a good relationship, and perhaps even become good friends, with your roommate.


💡 Quick Tip: Fund your education with a low-rate, no-fee SoFi private student loan that covers all school-certified costs.

Join a Fraternity or Sorority

You might consider whether to join a fraternity or a sorority. This could provide the opportunity to make a lot of new friends. While some fraternities and sororities may have bad reputations because of their hazing practices and emphasis on parties, many focus on philanthropy and building friendships instead.

Just keep in mind that joining Greek life can cost $200 to $1,000 per semester, since you are generally required to pay fees or dues. The cost will vary depending on the school and chapter you join, and there may also be additional fees for membership.

You’ll also need to apply to get into a sorority or fraternity and go through a recruitment process to ensure it’s going to be a good fit. Then, if you’re accepted, you will typically live with your fraternity or sorority in a house on campus and socialize and volunteer with them on a regular basis.

Recommended: 11 Strategies for Paying for College and Other Expenses

Get Involved in Clubs

Another easy way to make friends in college is to join a club and get involved on campus. At the beginning of the school year, colleges will typically have club fairs, where club leaders set up booths and give information about their clubs to incoming freshmen and transfer students. This is where you can learn more and sign up for an initial meeting.

Some of the various types of clubs you can join include religious, political, academic, cultural, media, and community service clubs. For instance, students can join the school paper, radio or TV station, participate in math and science groups, join an on-campus religious group, find the school’s Republican and Democrat clubs, and volunteer at local animal rescue organizations or homeless shelters.

If you can’t find clubs you’re interested in, you may be able to start one of your own. You’ll likely have to go to the proper office on campus and follow the guidelines for establishing a new club.

Find Study Buddies in Your Classes

Another avenue for making friends in college is through your classes. You might start or sign up for a study group, which allows students in the same class to do homework and study for tests together. If you make a connection with another student in a college study group, you might suggest hanging out after the group is over or meeting up for a coffee or meal on campus another time.

Sign Up for Sports

One of the ways that many students go about making friends in college is by joining a sports team or an intramural sports club on campus. The sports teams are for athletes who are interested in playing on schools’ official teams, while intramural sports clubs are just for fun. Schools offer a variety of different sports like basketball, football, soccer, golf, tennis, and swimming. You can check out the campus life and sports section of your school’s website and look into the options.

Also, if you see a couple of students tossing a Frisbee around on the grass, there’s no harm in asking to join. Those kinds of casual meet-ups can be a good way to get to know new people.

Audition for the School Play

Theater clubs or the theater department on campus may hold auditions for school plays. You might consider auditioning for a part and making friends with the cast and crew members during rehearsal. Putting on a play can be a strong bonding experience, allowing you to cultivate lasting friendships.

Recommended: 10 Ways to Prepare for College

Go to Campus Events

Schools are always putting on events. This might include concerts, talent shows, guest speaker series, music festivals, stand-up comedy, and more. You might ask acquaintances to go to an event and/or meet new friends there. If the event is crowded, you might need to be a little more outgoing and start up conversations with the people nearby in order to (hopefully) make friends.

Connect With Other Student Workers

If you have a work-study job, internship, or other gig on campus, you might try to strike up conversations with your colleagues, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your work. Some places students may work on campus include the college’s admissions office, the endowment office, the dining hall, the coffee shop, the art museum, and the library.

Go to Social Gatherings

If your roommates or friends are holding a social gathering or going off campus to check out a local movie theater or restaurant, consider tagging along. This can be a great way to strengthen the bonds you already have, as well as meet new people. Just keep in mind that while parties can be fun, they can also distract from schoolwork and you could end up with lower grades if you are partying too often.

Ask People to Hang Out One-on-One

Whenever you meet potential new friends in classes or through clubs, consider inviting them to hang out one-on-one to get to know them better. For example, you might ask them out for coffee or a meal, to an on-campus concert or show, to work out at the gym, or to a sports game. While this involves putting yourself out there, the rewards of making a new friend can be well worth the risk that they’ll say “no.”

The Importance of Being Yourself When Making Friends in College

Although you may be worried about making new friends in college, you generally don’t want to change your personality or hide who you really are in order to fit in. It may be a little tough at first, but by joining clubs you’re interested in and finding people who accept you for who you are, you could make lifelong friends. It can take some time and might not always happen within the first semester. However, you’ll want to keep trying to meet and connect with new people throughout your four years at college.


💡 Quick Tip: Even if you don’t think you qualify for financial aid, you should fill out the FAFSA form. Many schools require it for merit-based scholarships, too.

Affording College

College is where you can set yourself up for professional success as well as make wonderful new friends. However, if you don’t know how you’ll pay for it, you might feel even more anxiety before embarking on this exciting next step in your life.

Fortunately, there are a number of ways to cover the cost of attending college, including grants, scholarships, work-study programs (which are also great for making friends), and subsidized and unsubsidized federal loans. If you get your financial aid letter and still have gaps in funding, you might also consider a private student loan.

Private loans are available through banks, credit unions, and online lenders. Unlike federal student loans, they require a credit check. However, if you have solid credit (or can recruit a cosigner who does), you may be able to qualify for a competitive interest rate. Just keep in mind that private loans may not offer the same protections that come with federal loans, such as income-driven repayment plans and forgiveness programs.

The Takeaway

Making friends and finding your social group can be a key part of the college experience. For many people, it yields lifelong connections. To get started making friends, you might look for a study group, join a sports team, get involved in campus activities, like the drama club, and attend campus events. It can be a valuable part of your time at college.

Affording your education can take some energy, too, with options like federal and private student loans.

If you’ve exhausted all federal student aid options, no-fee private student loans from SoFi can help you pay for school. The online application process is easy, and you can see rates and terms in just minutes. Repayment plans are flexible, so you can find an option that works for your financial plan and budget.


Cover up to 100% of school-certified costs including tuition, books, supplies, room and board, and transportation with a private student loan from SoFi.

FAQ

Is it normal to be a loner in college?

Being a loner in college can be more common than you may think, despite the media images of everyone on campus having a pack of friends. Some students prefer to have just a few contacts and focus on their studies, and others find it hard to discover their network. Joining campus activities and study groups can help break the ice.

How to make friends in college when shy?

To make friends in college when you’re shy can be done by finding low-pressure situations. Examples are joining study groups and finding clubs that build on your interests whether that’s gaming, painting, running, cooking, or speaking a foreign language.

How can you make friends quickly in college?

Some ways to make friends quickly in college include introducing yourself around the dorm, joining a club or organization that interests you, studying in a social space vs. at your desk, and eating meals with your fellow students. You might also attend campus events, whether that means a football game, performance, or other gathering.


About the author

Julia Califano

Julia Califano

Julia Califano is an award-winning journalist who covers banking, small business, personal loans, student loans, and other money issues for SoFi. She has over 20 years of experience writing about personal finance and lifestyle topics. Read full bio.



SoFi Loan Products
SoFi loans are originated by SoFi Bank, N.A., NMLS #696891 (Member FDIC). For additional product-specific legal and licensing information, see SoFi.com/legal. Equal Housing Lender.


SoFi Private Student Loans
Please borrow responsibly. SoFi Private Student loans are not a substitute for federal loans, grants, and work-study programs. We encourage you to evaluate all your federal student aid options before you consider any private loans, including ours. Read our FAQs.

Terms and conditions apply. SOFI RESERVES THE RIGHT TO MODIFY OR DISCONTINUE PRODUCTS AND BENEFITS AT ANY TIME WITHOUT NOTICE. SoFi Private Student loans are subject to program terms and restrictions, such as completion of a loan application and self-certification form, verification of application information, the student's at least half-time enrollment in a degree program at a SoFi-participating school, and, if applicable, a co-signer. In addition, borrowers must be U.S. citizens or other eligible status, be residing in the U.S., Puerto Rico, U.S. Virgin Islands, or American Samoa, and must meet SoFi’s underwriting requirements, including verification of sufficient income to support your ability to repay. Minimum loan amount is $1,000. See SoFi.com/eligibility for more information. Lowest rates reserved for the most creditworthy borrowers. SoFi reserves the right to modify eligibility criteria at any time. This information is subject to change. This information is current as of 4/22/2025 and is subject to change. SoFi Private Student loans are originated by SoFi Bank, N.A. Member FDIC. NMLS #696891 (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org).

Financial Tips & Strategies: The tips provided on this website are of a general nature and do not take into account your specific objectives, financial situation, and needs. You should always consider their appropriateness given your own circumstances.

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How to Prepare Financially for a Divorce

Going through a divorce can be an overwhelming experience. There’s already the emotional pain of divorce, and then partners must also divide up money and assets and break down the financial structure that they’ve built together.

Piled on top of the logistics of divorce, some people may find themselves managing money on their own for the first time in their lives. These added financial stressors can make a difficult situation even more challenging.

Fortunately, there are some simple things you can do prior to getting a divorce that can take some of the stress out of the process. While every couple’s situation is different, what follows is a basic roadmap for how to prepare for a divorce financially.

7 Steps to Financially Prepare for a Divorce

Divorces can range from being hard-fought battles in court to peaceful mediation that happen outside of the courtroom. Either way, when it comes to divorce and finances, the money eventually needs to be split up. Here’s how to make the process of dividing up assets go as seamlessly as possible.

Step 1: Gather Your Financial Statements

A good first step to preparing for a divorce is to gather current and past financial statements so you can get a full picture of your shared and individual accounts. Having quick access to all this information can also save time (and, in turn, money) when you consult a lawyer. Here’s what you may need:

•   Checking, savings and investment account statements (past year)

•   Current statements for retirement plans (IRAs, 401k plans, or pensions)

•   List of assets acquired before and during your marriage (real estate, vehicles, boats, etc.)

•   Debt statements and balances (mortgages, auto loans, personal loans, credit cards, and credit lines)

•   Credit card statements (past year).

•   Recent pay stubs

•   Income tax returns (past three years)

Step 2: Document Your Assets

Since you’ll be dividing up all of your assets, it’s a good idea to take inventory of all of the assets you own (both individually and jointly), such as your home, car, and anything items with a high value. Collect receipts, photos or videos of each item, and note whether the asset is owned by you, owned by your spouse, or shared. You’ll also want to assign a value to each asset (if you own valuable antiques or collectibles, you might need to hire a professional appraiser).

Step 3: Track Your Finances

You’ll also want to begin tracking how much you’ve been spending each month — and on what. This will not only help you build a budget post-divorce, but it is also critical for your attorney (and later the judge) in deciding how to split assets and debts, and whether to award spousal or child support.

You can use your bank and credit card statements to come up with average spending from the past couple of years, including household bills, food, clothing, entertainment, home maintenance, transportation, child care, and anything else that you spend money on. Once you have a sense of what you’ve been spending, do your best to project future expenses. You can use previous years as a guide but also factor in potential future expenses (like a child’s school tuition and extracurricular activities).

Recommended: How to Track Your Monthly Expenses: Step-by-Step Guide

Step 4: Prepare to Make Some Difficult Choices

Splitting financial accounts tends to be relatively straightforward, but dividing up “real” assets like your home and any other treasured joint possessions, can be more complicated, So it’s a good idea to think of anything that falls into that category and what will make the most sense for you and your spouse moving forward.

If you own your home, that is likely going to be the largest asset you’ll need to make a decision about. If the home is being supported by two incomes, neither you nor your spouse may be able to afford to stay there on your own. Often, the simplest choice is to sell the home and split the proceeds. However, if children are involved, and it’s financially feasible, one parent might opt to buy out the other to maintain some normalcy. What will work best for you and your spouse will depend on your unique personal and financial situation.

Step 5: Be Frugal

No doubt you’re aware that divorce can be expensive. The average cost of a divorce in the U.S. is $12,900. You could spend significantly less if there are no major contested issues, or it could run a lot more should you end up going to trial over several issues.

Either way, now is probably not a good time to run up large expenses, either individually, or as a unit. If you and your spouse don’t have money set aside for hiring a divorce attorney and other related expenses, try to agree about each spending a conservative and comparable amount, while continuing to use your joint and individual accounts.

This can be a good time to eliminate or pare back your expenses where possible. For example, you might cancel unused subscriptions and memberships, attempt to dine out less, and use the clothes that you own. There are tons of creative ways to be frugal — so you can do it in a way that aligns with your values.

💡 Quick Tip: Are you paying pointless bank fees? Open a checking account with no account fees and avoid monthly charges (and likely earn a higher rate, too).

Step 6: Seek Out the Right Professional Help

If you and your spouse want to minimize legal expenses and think you can amicably split your assets, you might consider consulting a mediator. A mediator acts as a neutral third party to help you negotiate an agreement on the splitting of assets and making other arrangements (in some cases, custody of children) and could save you significant time and money.

If mediation is not an option, you’ll need to find a divorce attorney to handle your legal affairs and represent your respective sides in the negotiations (you’ll each need your own attorney). You might also consider getting help from a qualified financial adviser to make sure that all assets are divided, transferred successfully into new accounts, and reinvested, if necessary (again, you’ll likely each want your own financial adviser).

Step 7: Separate Your Finances

As you move towards divorce, you’ll want to set up your own checking and savings accounts and get your paycheck automatically deposited there. You’ll also need to redirect any direct deposits and update any automatic payment information. You can then start using the new accounts for all your own personal future deposits and expenses. The old joint accounts will need to be split between you and your spouse.

You may also want to consider opening your own retirement account (if you don’t have one). This is especially important if you are expecting to get money from your spouse’s retirement account as part of your divorce. Transferring the funds directly into your retirement account can help you avoid paying taxes on the money now.

Interested in opening an online bank account? When you sign up for a SoFi Checking and Savings account with eligible direct deposit, you’ll get a competitive annual percentage yield (APY), pay zero account fees, and enjoy an array of rewards, such as access to the Allpoint Network of 55,000+ fee-free ATMs globally. Qualifying accounts can even access their paycheck up to two days early.


Better banking is here with SoFi, NerdWallet’s 2024 winner for Best Checking Account Overall.* Enjoy 3.30% APY on SoFi Checking and Savings with eligible direct deposit.

FAQ

How much money should I save for a divorce?

The average cost of a divorce is $12,900. However, you could spend significantly less. A divorce with no major contested issues runs, on average, $4,100. Or you might end up spending more. Divorces that go to trial on two or more issues can cost as much as $23,300.

Should you separate finances before a divorce?

If you know divorce is inevitable, it can be a good idea to start the financial separation process as soon as possible. If your money is in a joint account, you can begin by opening a new individual checking account and savings account. Next, you’ll need to redirect any direct deposits and update any automatic payment information. Use the new account for all your own personal future deposits and expenses. You might opt to keep one joint account open, however, to pay for household expenses until you are officially divorced.


About the author

Julia Califano

Julia Califano

Julia Califano is an award-winning journalist who covers banking, small business, personal loans, student loans, and other money issues for SoFi. She has over 20 years of experience writing about personal finance and lifestyle topics. Read full bio.




Annual percentage yield (APY) is variable and subject to change at any time. Rates are current as of 12/23/25. There is no minimum balance requirement. Fees may reduce earnings. Additional rates and information can be found at https://www.sofi.com/legal/banking-rate-sheet

Eligible Direct Deposit means a recurring deposit of regular income to an account holder’s SoFi Checking or Savings account, including payroll, pension, or government benefit payments (e.g., Social Security), made by the account holder’s employer, payroll or benefits provider or government agency (“Eligible Direct Deposit”) via the Automated Clearing House (“ACH”) Network every 31 calendar days.

Although we do our best to recognize all Eligible Direct Deposits, a small number of employers, payroll providers, benefits providers, or government agencies do not designate payments as direct deposit. To ensure you're earning the APY for account holders with Eligible Direct Deposit, we encourage you to check your APY Details page the day after your Eligible Direct Deposit posts to your SoFi account. If your APY is not showing as the APY for account holders with Eligible Direct Deposit, contact us at 855-456-7634 with the details of your Eligible Direct Deposit. As long as SoFi Bank can validate those details, you will start earning the APY for account holders with Eligible Direct Deposit from the date you contact SoFi for the next 31 calendar days. You will also be eligible for the APY for account holders with Eligible Direct Deposit on future Eligible Direct Deposits, as long as SoFi Bank can validate them.

Deposits that are not from an employer, payroll, or benefits provider or government agency, including but not limited to check deposits, peer-to-peer transfers (e.g., transfers from PayPal, Venmo, Wise, etc.), merchant transactions (e.g., transactions from PayPal, Stripe, Square, etc.), and bank ACH funds transfers and wire transfers from external accounts, or are non-recurring in nature (e.g., IRS tax refunds), do not constitute Eligible Direct Deposit activity. There is no minimum Eligible Direct Deposit amount required to qualify for the stated interest rate. SoFi Bank shall, in its sole discretion, assess each account holder's Eligible Direct Deposit activity to determine the applicability of rates and may request additional documentation for verification of eligibility.

See additional details at https://www.sofi.com/legal/banking-rate-sheet.

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Financial Tips & Strategies: The tips provided on this website are of a general nature and do not take into account your specific objectives, financial situation, and needs. You should always consider their appropriateness given your own circumstances.

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